Two Became Six

Two in the morning, I finally lay my head

On my comfy pillow, awaiting me in bed.

Sun goes up and down again. Been walking in a haze.

Children all around me, filling up my days.

Sleep it would seem, must be for someone else.

People like me? There’s no rest for myself.

Cereal, clothing, and toys on the floor

Where I had just cleaned up, moments before.

I put kids in their beds, and breathe a sigh of relief

Only for them to escape, and steal my peace like a thief.

One or two are not much of a chore.

But when two becomes three, and then three becomes four?

I thought I could handle this task like a pro.

But when I awaken, all I can think of is No!

It’s too early to get up, I just closed my eyes.

Without some more rest, I fear my demise.

When will it end, this house full of noise?

Has my daughter arrived, to tame all my boys?

I do not think so. I think she’ll be just like the others.

Making Dad’s hair fall out, while giving white hairs to their mother.

It’s hard to raise kids, without a clue how to do it.

It’s tough when you think, at every moment, you blew it.

Would I change this life, if given the chance?

Would I forget having children? Would I sit out this dance?

If I could go back, and change the course of my life,

I’d choose my family again, created from love with my wife.

Through all the ups and downs, sleepless nights and headaches,

I’m thrilled to be here. I’ve made no mistakes.

I’d do it again, this hectic endeavor.

Loving this short life, wishing it was forever.

17 thoughts on “Two Became Six

      1. I view sleep as I now view God. Often prayed for but only existing as an idea, a way to escape reality. If sleep existed, I would have seen evidence of it by now.

        Liked by 5 people

  1. I love it 🙂

    You do have your hands full, but reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can–no one knows how to parent (they think they do) but every day is a new emotion, and exhausting. My oldest is on the autism spectrum and we have her in this program–she’s 19. I still feel like I failed all my kids, but sometimes I especially feel as if I failed her. Anyway, she had her first job open house today, I think, but I’m not there–she gets bussed to a program our county offers. It’s very nerve-wracking for me. I still have anxiety. I probably will until I’m in my grave. The other two kids I worry about too. It’s just tough. But I have to remember anyone in my position would struggle. I’m doing what I can with what I know. That’s all I can do…and I have to learn to make friends with my life. It is too short. But I think you are doing a great job!

    Everytime I think I suck as a mom, I remember I’m no longer sucked into a cult and that makes me smile. LOL

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks. I’m no poet, but I felt like doing something different.

      Being a parent is tough, as you well know. I’m always wondering if my decisions are the right ones and second-guessing myself. The fact that we have 4 kids makes things hard. Four kids who need four different things all the time. Trying to find a balance and make everyone happy all the time is impossible, but we try our best. I know you know what it’s like to try to please everyone. It just doesn’t work. I don’t have the challenges that you have and I think you’ve done your best as well.

      Cult-free does feel pretty good. I’m with you there. Being a parent is hard enough without a church telling you what you should and shouldn’t be doing.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Lol exactly. And the added pressure of always feeling like you suck. I just saw my former pastors daughter got married at 19. I’m sure she’ll be having kids. Not that this is bad. I had kids young. But the culture there was “this is how things are”. Pretty sad since his daughter got a nursing degree and is super smart. She basically jumped from being at home to being married. And then I saw another family, their daughter got married right after. It’s total group think. I’m so glad my daughters don’t have to feel bad that their entire life is planned out for them on graduation day 🙄

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Doing what is expected of you and doing what fills your heart with joy are usually not even close to the same thing. So many people in the church (at least the ones I attended) embraced the idea of the woman’s place being in the home, both pregnant and with a hot meal waiting for her husband/provider. It was ordained by God, they’d say, to have the husband be the leader of the home and it was ordained by God that the wife submit. The “this is how things are” culture is a few centuries behind. At least.

        My 3 sons, as well as my daughter will be encouraged to do whatever makes them happy in this life. I will never be disappointed in what they do if it brings them joy. I will not try to plan out their lives. That is not my job or anyone elses except for them. If people want to get married young, then I say go for it. I did and it worked out pretty well. If you do it to please Mommy, Daddy or the congregation then you really need to reevaluate your life.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Bwahahahahahaha!!! Yes, yes, and yes. Oh the wondrous memories you and Tracy are making; wooohoooo! Hopefully you both can write enjoyable poems like this every week. Don’t forget to laugh, tear up, love and live because as Henry David Thoreau reminds:

    The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You were warned … !

    Seriously, you made it through the others, you’ll make it through this one too. But maybe you might want to think twice about another one! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was warned, but I never listen. I am thrilled having a big family, but somehow I forgot what having no sleep does to a person…and also trying to keep up with a 2 year old and 4 year old with no sleep. It should calm down in this house by the time I am 50 or so. We’ll see.

      As far as having more, I may just have to visit the old “snip snip” doctor and call it a day. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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